1950′s housewife vs. Modern woman

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It’s been a few more days than normal, I know. And for that, I am sorry. Also, a side of caution, I drove 4 hours today so whatever I say may not make sense or be horribly phrased. Again, sorry.

I am currently finding myself in a bind between being a modern woman and a 1950’s housewife. I don’t like it and I’m not sure what to do about it.

I like cooking and it is always a time where I can just be alone and think. I also am a semi-neat freak. I just like things cleaned, because the flyers and junk that you get in the mail is meant for the trash-not the top of the fireplace, the floor, or the entryway table. Old science magazines, homework articles, xbox remotes, and books are also not meant for the living room floor. So to me, it’s easy. I clean the whole place up and then it looks pretty, just like I want.

But then goes the other side of my brain. I shouldn’t have to clean up after him. I am clean, so I clean my own things up after I make a mess. If you ignore my bedroom that is. That has, and always will be a lost cause. Don’t bother trying to cure that problem.

Anyway, I don’t feel like I should have to clean up after him. It’s not my job, I’m not his mother. He is a grown man who should be able to clean up after himself….but he can’t. And then there is the food issue. I shouldn’t HAVE to make food all of the time. Although I do give him credit that he doesn’t expect me to cook for him or have dinner ready when he gets home.

But I like real food. I don’t eat ramen, as I don’t like it, and other than pasta I am pretty sure this is the only thing he knows how to make. Unless you count grilling something, but I don’t because all he does is throw it on the grill/George Foremen. Can someone teach him how to cook, please?

I know I am not the only one that struggles between wanting to take care of the home/their man and being an independent woman and having them do something. It’s nice to have the option and it being socially acceptable for them to do work, but it makes life confusing.

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6 responses »

  1. I have to plate my husband’s food. How did we get to the point that he cannot even spoon it out of a dish for himself?

    Stop it now, or it will continue and worsen.

    • Please hold while I have a fangirl moment because you commented on my blog. *dances*

      Sadly we don’t have a proper dinning table yet, so we sit on the couch to eat and have to get are food all ready in the kitchen (no coffee table yet, either). Thankfully he just makes me go first so he can see how I plate my food, so he doesn’t mess it up. Well, I really think he doesn’t care how it goes, he just doesn’t wasn’t me to tell him he is doing it all wrong haha. I think our biggest issue is just that he will say he will clean something up, but then he never does unless I harp on him.

  2. First, forgiveness please for mistakes of all sorts. Am typing away on a phone. :)

    Second, beware the housewife trap!!!

    Nothing against the 50′s housewife, but she had a lot of time on her hands. I get the impression that you want to be a career woman, and once you get that under way, you won’t have time to pick up after fiance. And let’s not bring kids into the equation!

    However, if you continue to just quietly pick up after him, he will come to expect it. Then when you burn out, the arguing and worse starts. It’s better to establish these things now.

    A good compromise, if this is possible, is to give him a space (preferably out of your sight) where he can be a slob, but to insist that he helps clean
    up family areas of the home. Just a suggestion – I really don’t know if that would work for your situation. :)

    Either way I really think, unless you want to spend your life cleaning up after your family, you should probably work this out soon, rather than later. :)

    -Tess, who is a notorious lurker :-P

    • Ooo I love the space idea! The only issue is where is he allowed to be messy? The only non-public area, I guess, is the bedroom or the second bedroom. And his dad is here a lot for work, so maybe we can be messy together in our room. It can’t get much worse than it already is, right? Haha

  3. This was a conversation with my mom via telephone:

    Mom: “What did you eat for lunch?”

    Me: “Ham and cheese sandwich.”

    Mom: “Did you make Brett one too?”

    Me: “Umm. No.”

    Mom: “You didn’t???”

    Me: “No. He’s a big boy, Mom. He can make his own sandwich.”

    Mom: “I don’t understand. Why didn’t you make him a sandwich? I always make your father one.”

    Me: *Banging head against wall*

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