My Body Hates Me

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Why is it when you really need to go to sleep, your body is like, “No thank you, body. I’d rather hate my life tomorrow!” Silly body, why do you do these things to me? Why can’t you be more like Fiancé, who can fall asleep at the drop of a hat?

It started off with me getting a phone call at 9:17 p.m. to substitute teach tomorrow for a 6th grade social studies class. Of course I accepted; it’s money!! But, I also thought in my brain, “OMG yuck! I strongly dislike social studies and it is by far my least qualified subject area.”

And then my next thought came out, “How the Hell am I going to fall asleep tonight?” The previous night I had one generous glass of wine and was ready to pass out after that. So, of course, I figured, “O, I’ll just have another glass tonight and be able to pass out.”

WRONG.

Here I am, going to bed at 11:30 p.m., pleased that I am about to pass out and get a lot of sleep. Heck, I will even be able to wake up early and actually do my hair for once.

I lay in bed and checked my phone, 12:00 a.m.

Shit.

I continued to lie in bed and checked my phone again, 12:30 a.m.

Double shit.

At this point I texted the Fiancé and complained that I couldn’t fall asleep. He tells me to try some warm milk, I reply that I had brushed my teeth! He says sleepy time tea, I say no. He then told me to, “just try and close your eyes.”

Ha! That is easier than it seems. I attempted to then “meditate”, AKA simply focus on my breathing. I must have eventually fallen asleep, and I think I even had a conversation with Fiancé when he came in for bed. What I said, I have no clue.

I woke up in total fear. Turns out, I then had a dream that I woke up at 1 p.m. and didn’t show up for my subbing job. Which, if I actually did that, would mean I was fired. Dislike.

I checked my phone and then realized it was 3:30 a.m.

And then I woke up at 4:30 a.m.

My alarm finally awoke me at 5:30 a.m. so that I could go get ready.

And here we are, 10:13 a.m. during one of the planning periods and I am writing this to post later on. So far I am not going to pass out, but give me till about 1:30 p.m., when I will have taught the same thing twice already and about to go for a third go around.

And, $20 says that when I get home tonight I am going to pass the eff out, only wake up to cook dinner and eat, and then not be able to fall asleep again tonight.

Stupid naps. Stupid body.

One response »

  1. it’s that whole night before work anxiety thing, i think. I can never, ever fall asleep on a sunday night knowing I have to go to work the next morning. even though it’s a job I’ve had forever and can do with no problem. i don’t know what it is…. i hope you get some sleep tonight!!!

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