Nommy Food Day!

Although I still struggle with my 1950′s Housewife vs. Modern Woman’ness, I am definitely on a 1950’s housewife kick today. I made a list this morning of things that I had to accomplish around the condo, including: wash the dishes, empty the dishwasher, end up filling it up again and rerunning it, laundry, unpack more things, dinner (I went with tacos), etc. Normally I end up putting all of this stuff off until Fiancé is home, since during the day I enjoy watching my trash TV from the previous night, but not today!

I felt so accomplished as I started crossing things off of my list. It was nice to feel accomplished; I haven’t felt this way in awhile. Even though last night Fiancé said that he would make dinner tonight, I knew he wouldn’t have time for it. He has a lot of homework due at midnight, tonight, and he only started last night. I decided I would make dinner, as usual, to be nice and so I could actually eat something yummy.

Since part of my birthday present, from my sister, was a rolling pin. And might I just say, it is the most awesome rolling pin ever! I played percussion for nine years, and the rolling pin she got me is from a company that mostly makes drumsticks and mallets. Anywho, since I finally have a rolling pin I could properly make these amazing 100% whole wheat tortillas.

And so I did. And they were awesome. Seriously, you HAVE to try these. Fiancé even complimented them, and I didn’t have to fish for that compliment. Plus, the rest of the tacos were also very yummy.

When I went to 100 Days of Real Food, for the tortilla recipe, I saw “Pumpkin Spice” Hot Chocolate and I think I died a little on the inside. I MUST TRY THIS NOW! All of the Starbucks around here either make you pay to park, is a bia to get in and out of, or is far away. So trying to get my Pumpkin Spice Latte fix is kind of hard.

Today I am okay with the fact that I am a 1950’s housewife, because I’ll be damned if today hasn’t been full of yumminess and minor accomplishments!

Home Isn’t Where the Heart is.

I am in a funk.

I am not happy. I am depressed. And I feel like this house is not my home.

This idea of a new city went from being scary, to being, “Ooo, this could be an adventure,” to, “I want out and I want to go home.”

I don’t have a job and I feel like all I do is sit around and do the following:

a) watch tv/play on the computer
b) clean
c) paint/organize/put things away
d) go grocery shopping
e) cook dinner and then clean up the dinner mess

And then it gets thrown in my face that I just sit around all day and do nothing.

I have no friends here. I’m not a giant fan of doing things by myself, but that is what it is turning into.

Thankfully I have two different job interviews for subbing on Thursday. But until then, what can I do?

I can’t do anything. I can’t control the fact that I have no job. So why do I get punished for it? Especially when he does the exact same thing as me when he gets home from lab/work. He sits on his ass in front of the tv, that he only half watches, gets on 4chan, talks to his friends online and I just mope around the house and find something to do.

According to him I always have attitude, even if I just ask him something. And he can never do something at that moment. It always has to be later or the next day. Or, “Can’t I just take out the trash out tomorrow when I go to lab, when I am going to be going outside? Why do I have to do it now?” Because I need to be able to use the trash but it is full. I guess I just need to learn to do more things myself.

I feel alone. At least I have Pumpkin Spice Lattes now.

Sorry for the depressing post.

Update: It’s surprising how much a little communication can fix things. We talked some and things are much better now. Frankly, I think this is where a lot of his communication skills lack because I guess he didn’t mean that I just sit around and do nothing all day. Ah well, boys are confusing creatures.