His, well, I guess our, kitchen is on the smaller side and has limited counter space. So I decided to move the microwave over to the other side of the sink, since that would make for a lot more room.
You know those moments in books when you realize that what the author wrote was foreshadowing and you wished you would have paid more attention? This is one of those times.
I lift up the microwave and I find the following: 1 potato chip (yes, just 1 sad and lonely chip), empty sugar packets, dry noodles, and the strangest crayon that is half blue and half red. But what got me the most was the fact that I found one of these:
A lead refill container with only 1 piece of lead in it. What I wanted to know is why it was in the kitchen, let alone underneath the microwave. I can see him just walking into the kitchen, pencil, refill, and strange crayon in hand, going to make some mac-and-cheese and adding sugar to it because he is weird. And then it all ends up under the microwave instead (minus the pencil, of course).
But soon after cleaning the counter tops, and cloroxing the paint out of the sink (we’ve been painting), I decided to organize the messy pantry. While moving everything around so that it made some sense I thought, “Hmm, maybe I should check the expiration date on these boxes of processed pastas and potatoes. He sure has a lot of them, and I’m sure there’s at least one that might be expired.” And so I pick up the first box and try and find the expiration date, but I swear they always hide those things, and then I see it. The magical number that I am about to see way too much for my own good.
So I dramatically threw it to the ground as I rolled my eyes, and then picked up the next box.
And then I did the exact same thing.
It just kept going. I huffed and puffed and wished I could knock over all the boxes and call it a day, but instead I got out the big black trash bag he had in the pantry and threw all of the boxes into the bag. I continued to go through the boxes of crap. Reader, I dare you to guess how many boxes were expired and therefore thrown away.
Just guess. Don’t worry-you won’t be right.
3/4ths of the BIG black trash bag! This isn’t some small white trashcan bag, these are the “I mean serious business” black bags. Although, not all of them were from 2008, some were 2009 and 2010. But, did I also tell you that fiancé moved into his apartment in undergrad fall of 2007? Why yes, he did. So not only did he buy these boxes of food when he moved into his apartment sophomore year of college, he also let them expire that year, packed them up after he graduated spring of 2010, moved them to a WHOLE NEW CITY and unpack them fall of 2010 in his new place WITHOUT realizing they had expired.
And to add the cherry on top, I found a box of potatoes that expired much earlier than that. 2005, to be exact. And did I tell you that we both graduated high school in 2006? Yep, we did. I don’t want to even know how he ended up with that one.
After fiancé got home from lab/work that day we had an “argument” and he seemed to just not get why “this was a big deal” and how “it is gross.” Because to him, they “taste yummy!” and “they’re in a box!” And when he is even told, “A homeless shelter wouldn’t even accept these if they were donated!” his first phrase out of his mouth is, “Well, I have lower standards than the homeless!”
What the hell have I gotten myself into?