We Don’t Have Dates Anymore

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At least, that’s what I said to the Fiancé last week. We had just hung out with a girl from his lab and her boyfriend. We went out to get some dinner before seeing the Cleveland Orchestra (one of the best in the entire WORLD) and Fiancé had mentioned it was a double date. But, reader, what you do not know is that I strongly dislike the phrase “double date” and he only called it that to get a reaction out of me. Boys.

I replied to him with my usual, “Ugh! It is not a double date, we are just hanging out with them and going somewhere.” I then added, “Plus, we don’t go on dates anymore. We just do things together.”

You see, to me, after dating for 7 years the idea of going on a date with my Fiancé seems strange. How can it officially be a date if we have been together for so long? How can something be “date night” if we are just doing something? We don’t have kids, so we always just do our activities together.

This then got me thinking the past few days. Maybe not having a date night, where we can just focus on each other, is a problem. Perhaps we need to officially call it that so we focus more attention on each other and aren’t distracted by other things, like our cell phones.

Yesterday I decided something. We were having date night! Because of my 28-day boot camp, I have to do at least 30 minutes of cardio, 5 days a week. I asked Fiancé if he wanted to go on a walk with me around the neighborhood and then get dinner at the yummy Chinese food restaurant by us. He said yes and I went and started to get ready before he got home. I decided if we were having a date night, then I should look nice!

The date night was really nice but I realized something. Next time, I need to actually tell him that it is date night, because he had invited the previously mentioned friends to go out to eat with us. And of course, it was without asking me.

Thankfully, they couldn’t come out to eat. Here is to more date nights!

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9 responses »

  1. Awe that’s great you’re still interested in a date night after 7 years. My parents have “date morning” on Saturday mornings because that’s when they both consistently have time and by night, they’re too tired to do much. I think you’re right to call it a date night and make it official because there’s a different vibe when it’s a date as opposed to hanging out together. You want to look nice, focus on each other, etc. it’s more intimate. I hope you have many more wonderful dates to come even after you’re married.

    -Eliabeth

  2. Date morning sounds like a smart idea! I can understand how evenings would typically be busy and date night would get cut from the list. Plus, if I have to teach that day I am always so exhausted, so I get it. Maybe I’ll have to try out date mornings too! You have smart parents.

    • My mom works as a therapist so not only are her client hours sporadic, but not every day holds the same level of mental exhaustion. I’d imagine teaching would be similar but correct me if I’m wrong. My parents are crazy brilliant. I hope to pass some of their wisdom on to my brother’s children lol. Thanks for dropping by our blog. I’m jealous you got to see the Cleveland Orchestra. I’d count that as a date personally. I’ve gotten to see the Dallas Opera twice and the Dallas Symphony Orchestra do Phantom of the Opera and each experience took my breath away. I’m interested to see what date nights/mornings you and your fiance come up with. Here’s a kinda interesting but unconventional one that I’ve always wanted to do with a guy but haven’t found the right one yet. Go volunteer somewhere. My dad and I did the North Texas Food Bank for a while and now I volunteer for the Habitat for Humanity retail store that funds the construction projects. I got the idea from I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, but I like the concept of occasionally spending a date doing something that involves teamwork towards a common goal or cause. If you guys are athletic you could do a race or walk and count that.

      • See, for me it is still hard to see those and count them as dates. I’m not sure why, but maybe it’s because I have considered him my “husband” for a long long time lol. But those are great things. We are in a new city now, so I would have to look up where all of those places are. Thank you for the suggestions!!

      • I’m afraid I can’t relate. My boyfriend and I are only on three years and we’re far from engaged. It’s not that hard to find somewhere to volunteer if you have an idea of what you want to do where as it can be overwhelming to find something to do if you just google “volunteer work” in your area. Trust me. That’s how I ended up at Habitat for Humanity, none of the animal shelters wanted me and I was too overwhelmed with the search engine so I picked something I knew and went with that. 🙂

        Hope I’m not accidentally hijacking your comments section.

      • Smart idea, and no-you can hijack it all you would like! You are leaving great ideas and I always want those. My cousin has done a LOT of work for habitat for humanity along the entire east coast (he turned a sail boat into a row boat and rowed 2000 miles, doing Habitat for Humanity along the way), so that would probably be a great place for me to start. Thank you, thank you!

      • Wow! We’re lucky I know which side of the hammer hits the nail. I signed up to paint and nothing else as far as construction but what’s really cool is that Habitat for Humanity has ReStore locations where people donate pictures, books, furniture, or whatever else they have around and Habitat resells it. The profits go to the construction materials. I actually never stopped to wonder how they paid for things before, I always assumed it was through donations. Long story short, I work in the office stuffing envelopes, giving out water to marathon runners, or rearranging the store displays to be more attractive and space efficient so there’s something for any skill level!

  3. Just read through your whole blog, very cute. 🙂 Left some notes on a few entries (mostly complaining about boys also…shh!) It reminds me a lot of when Mike and I first started living together. Tip: Make an agreement that if one person cooks, the other cleans up. At least it makes you feel less housewife-ish as some of the bitterness is taken care of, because it’s only fair. And really, even if he’s got lots to do and you don’t, it doesn’t take much time to clean up, especially since you have a dishwasher. That way you’re not doing EVERYTHING, and getting annoyed by it.

    Cute blog!

    • Thanks for all of the comments, Jules! I figure most people can relate. Men are pretty much the same in the “not wanting to do housework” department. It wouldn’t be so bad if I also hated to do dishes. But, we have a mini dish-washer. I’m not sure what it’s actually called, maybe a compact or an apartment sized one? AKA it’s smaller than a normal sized one, so it fills up quicker and has to be emptied more often. It makes me want to cry on the inside.

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