Tag Archives: alone

Home Isn’t Where the Heart is.

I am in a funk.

I am not happy. I am depressed. And I feel like this house is not my home.

This idea of a new city went from being scary, to being, “Ooo, this could be an adventure,” to, “I want out and I want to go home.”

I don’t have a job and I feel like all I do is sit around and do the following:

a) watch tv/play on the computer
b) clean
c) paint/organize/put things away
d) go grocery shopping
e) cook dinner and then clean up the dinner mess

And then it gets thrown in my face that I just sit around all day and do nothing.

I have no friends here. I’m not a giant fan of doing things by myself, but that is what it is turning into.

Thankfully I have two different job interviews for subbing on Thursday. But until then, what can I do?

I can’t do anything. I can’t control the fact that I have no job. So why do I get punished for it? Especially when he does the exact same thing as me when he gets home from lab/work. He sits on his ass in front of the tv, that he only half watches, gets on 4chan, talks to his friends online and I just mope around the house and find something to do.

According to him I always have attitude, even if I just ask him something. And he can never do something at that moment. It always has to be later or the next day. Or, “Can’t I just take out the trash out tomorrow when I go to lab, when I am going to be going outside? Why do I have to do it now?” Because I need to be able to use the trash but it is full. I guess I just need to learn to do more things myself.

I feel alone. At least I have Pumpkin Spice Lattes now.

Sorry for the depressing post.

Update: It’s surprising how much a little communication can fix things. We talked some and things are much better now. Frankly, I think this is where a lot of his communication skills lack because I guess he didn’t mean that I just sit around and do nothing all day. Ah well, boys are confusing creatures.